Strange Coincidences

When I think about it, there were a lot of strange coincidences that happened around the time of John's sudden passing.  There were a lot of things going on in our life before the accident that now stick out in my mind...situations that were sometimes a little erie when I look back on them, but which now give me a sense of strange comfort and perhaps a sense of hope that there just may be more to John's existence in this world and his place in my life.  I wonder now if other widows have experienced similar incidences before their spouses passed away?  I wonder if these coincidences were like a secret message, like the universe somehow preparing us for John's departure from this earthly world.  Could it have been God setting things in place for the next leg of our journey?

Before John died, he made it a point to tell me how truly content he was with his life.  He had the career, the house, the health, the wife, and the baby on the way.  He had travelled and he had experienced so much for a young man barely touching thirty.  It brings me a lot of peace now to know that he felt this way and I am so thankful that he verbalized it. 

We had already finished most of the nursery before John's accident.  He had assembled most of the furniture (thank God he put it together!) and I had one less thing to worry about doing once he had passed.  John had seen our baby on the sonogram, we had discussed names, we had decided on godparents and he had felt the little one kicking in my tummy.  I think about how things with my pregnacy could have gone so differently.  If it wasn't for our excitement about our first-born and my eagerness to have things in order, things could have been so different. Sometimes I want to believe that God was trying to make things easier for me once the baby came, but I'm still not entirely sure that I have that much faith (though I desperately want to).

John and I had made a trip home to visit family shortly before his passing.  We live quite a distance away.  I am thankful for the time spent with family. He had talked to his family right before the accident, though he had been extremely busy with work only a week earlier and had left me to catch up with them myself.  He had just bought the vehicle he had always dreamed of owning, (having saved enough money from his recent overtime) finally having enough saved up to enjoy the fruits of his labour.

And there are so many other coincidences...

...the songs he loved most have strong undertones about dying, living life to the fullest...
...we had gone on a trip only a month before, enjoying one last adventure together...
...I started a blog about a year and a half ago in an attempt to find a creative outlet for myself.  I ended up closing it down for lack of inspiration on what to write.  It turns out I have a lot to write about these days....

Maybe I am just digging for significance in these experiences, but some of them bring me comfort and some of them make me wonder if there really was a plan for us afterall.