6 months

6 months...
and everything still feels the same.  The pain is just as real, just as intense and overwhelming as the day I found out you would never be coming home to me again. A day I would say my final "I love you" and give you one last kiss.  I have not gained any knowledge or skill to make the pain go away. Forever it will be with me and I fear that it will follow me to my own dying day.  6 months...
as if I am supposed to be better off somehow because of the time that has gone by. I am not. Nothing has changed except that maybe I cry one less time a day, a week. I may occupy myself with other thoughts...get caught up in the tasks of a single mother, errands, the world rushing by...television, people buzzing on their blackberries...but when I stop to think about it, the loss is just as great, the cut is just as deep, your memories bring back the same emotions.  I will never know the reason, I will never understand why.
I still do not have my husband by my side where he is supposed to be. 
My child still lacks a father that they will never know.