Resentment

I was talking to someone I'm very close to on the phone this evening and they said something that made me feel somewhat resentful.  As a matter of fact, it reminded me of other incidences in the recent past that brought similar feelings to the surface.  This particular individual was talking about a potential boyfriend/girlfriend and how what their boss had them doing in their position was very unsafe.  This person's comment [and I am paraphrasing] was that, "...especially after John's [I will call my late husband, John] accident, we need to learn to listen to our gut when things are unsafe.  It isn't right for us to jeopardize our safety just for a job." 

Now I am not an unreasonable person, and I know that this person had nothing but the most genuine of intentions, but I take a lot of offence to the idea of making an example out of my husband's "situation".  While I think it is obviously a good idea to learn from mistakes, I hate how some people are using the loss of my husband as an example of "what could happen if we're not careful."  This is my life you are making an example of.  It is my loss.  My life as I knew it (happy marriage, child, house, pets, etc.) is lost forever and you have your happiness right in front of your face. You are using the loss of everything I knew, my future, my true love, as a lesson. It doesn't seem fair that I should have to lose everything for you to learn a lesson on safety or how to not take things for granted....and I guess that is what makes me bitter about us "[learning to] live our lives to the fullest like John did". 

You should always listen to your gut, and you should live your life to the fullest everyday...not just because my husband died.